Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Memo To GOD

Dear Sir or Madam,

I'm writing to apply for a position. I realise you have not advertise any vacancies in the area which I'm interested, but i thought I would write in anticipation of a post becoming available.
The job I wanted to apply for is "Child".

I realise that I am a little bit past the requirement (age) for this position, but I believe I can be re-trained.

In my teen years, I believed I was born to be one. Not only was I growing taller, but my voice getting deeper, my skin gets hairier and my birthdays greater in number. Drifting into adulthood seemed natural.

After officially being an adult, normally there are only 4 tasks to handle.
Family + College life + Working life + Love life.

For me, and I believe for everyone, Family will always come first. Things that you have to do is to make your family to be proud of you, which is mainly depends on your how well you can convince them that you are a good boy who don't smoke, drink or gamble. Not difficult right? Wait till you mixed with the friends like mine who at least have a beer night once in a week. And Liqour night once in a month. As for smoking, 80% of my friends do smoke. So in order avoid myself to be a second hand smoker victim, I tried to make myself to be the first hand smoker. Hehe. Gamble? Well, this year (2009) we gambled the most, we even gamble in a cafe without worrying being catch by police. OPSSS!!!! I have done all these bad things, I failed to become a good family member, which eventually I failed my first task, Family Task.

College Life, many people would think that it is the most enjoyable task in life. Well, for me, Ya. Just a small part of it. The best time in College life is to look for pretty girls. And this is the only thing that I enjoy. Hehe. As for my results, I had failed a couple of papers, but somehow I'm manage to get my Diploma Cert without having to stay back. Unfortunately, during my studies for my Advanced Diploma, I failed twice for the same paper, which causes me to miss the fun in UK with my classmate. For not being able to complete my studies (to Degree), I failed my Study Life Task as well.

Working Life. There's only 1 word to describe it, SIENZZZ!!!!! Having to wake up every morning at 9am and do all the same old things from 9.30am till 7pm from Monday till Friday. Worse is that the whole department, I'm the youngest employee. They treated me like a kid and even call me "small boy" which I hated so much. So I decided not to be called "small boy" again, I quit the job. And again I failed my third task.

Love life, and it is the most interesting one. Hm..... Where should I start? Well, just cut it short, the person that I love most is not my Girl Friend yet. So I failed my Love Life task too.

After being failed all the 4 tasks, Family + College life + Working life + Love life = STRESS!!!!!!!!!!! And stress are not suppose to be in my ADULT job scope. So now, I'm feeling unfair to be in this position, so I am now resigning from adulthood with immediate effect. Please find enclosed my UPSR, PMR, SPM, Diploma and Advanced Diploma cert, my ATM card, driving licence and my Chivas Regal aged 12 years old.

I will no longer pretend to like ghost movies. When asked what is my all-time favourite movie is, I shall admit to it being THE LION KING.

I will no longer buy branded clothes, I should demand from my dad to but me KIKI-LALA clothes.

I will no longer pretend to read books with only words and will shall read books with cartoons.

I will no longer hang out at night drinking beer/liquor, I will go home straight to play my coca-cola and play my "ma sak".

I will no longer eat food being cook by my mother. I will instead have ROTA for dinner.

I hope YOU will consider my application. Even if it need 1 year probation period, I'm willing to try my best to be a "CHILD".

YOUR consideration will me truly appreciated.

Melvin Tan

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