Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Driving Rules in Malaysia

These are the rules that all the driver must keep in mind. This might be useful for those who always need to drive around. (only applicable in Malaysia)

Rules 1: There are no rules.

Rule 2: Except for the golden rule which is: Cars with blue light on top, get priority.

Rule 3: Instead of seat belts, wear a feng shui amulet, which offer better protection.

Rule 4: If you are driving a truck, paint “No Kiss” or “Horn Please” on the back.

Rule 5: Might is right.

Rule 6: Instead of driving in a manner that ensures you arrive at your destination alive, set up a small shrine (Jesus, Kuan Yin, Buddha, the Virgin Mary, or all four). This ensures the worst thing that can happen to you is that you get to heaven faster.

Rule 7: You should only overtake on the right. Or the left. Or over. Or under.

Rule 8: Multi-tasking while driving is compulsory. Beginners may wish to drive, smoke and talk on a mobile phone, while advanced drivers should do all three plus enjoy a three-course meal, drink a bottle of Carlsberg, sing a karaoke song and watch television.

Rule 9: Signaling before you turn is considered bad form. Surprises are more fun.

Rule 10: When driving at night, headlights should be kept at full beam to blind oncoming drivers, or switched off (see reference to “surprises” in Rule 9).

Rule 11: Look at the traffic light at the next junction rather than the one you are approaching.

Rule 12: If your passenger is the one you love, your hand should be on the passenger's lap.

Rule 13: You’d be surprised how many vehicles can fit abreast on a two-lane highway.

Rule 14: If the road is blocked, the hard shoulder may be used as a road.

Rule 15: If the road and the hard shoulder are blocked, the pavement may be used as a road.

Rule 16: Do not run over pedestrians, cyclists or motor-riders, unless necessary.

Rule 17: But remember, there are no rules.

Rule 18: Except the one about the blue light.

Lol, hope you all will enjoy this.

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